Do you love someone who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings? Does the person you love only like you as a friend?
Well, this article will teach you how to deal with unrequited love so you can conquer the challenges it brings!
Here are 9 tips to deal with one-sided love:
1. Respect yourself
If one-sided love bothers you, chances are, you tie your self-esteem to that person. If that person rejects you, it means that you’re not worthy of love and a crappy person, right?
You deserve to be respected and loved regardless of their estimation of you. Just because one person doesn’t love you, it doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of love.
Love yourself. Respect yourself.
Know that you are more than just this one person. You are complete and whole by yourself. This idea of “someone who completes you” is rubbish. Other people don’t complete you. They can only add to you and your life.
2. Get to Know the Person Better
I know this person probably seems pretty amazing and you really want to be with them. But before you do, make sure to know that person as much as you can.
This has 2 main benefits:
- You’ll learn whether you REALLY love this person
- They will know you more, so they may fall in love with the real you
Now don’t be carried away with the second point. All I’m saying is if you show your real self to the person, they may actually like the real you.
And if not, then now you know!
And about the first point, maybe you’ll find out that the person wasn’t great after all.
Sometimes people seem great on the outside, but once you get to know them, you realise how crappy they really are!
3. Stop Deifying Them
This relates to the 2 points above. Don’t make gods and goddesses of your human love interests!
I know, I know. They seem so perfect and awesome. I get that feeling. But remember, your love-clouded mind has a tendency to blow things out of proportion.
The good qualities of a person become the best qualities. And the bad attributes of a person are squashed till you’re blind to them.
As I talked about in a video on happiness, you gotta see reality as it is. When you create an image of a person that isn’t real, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and a chase that may not even be worth it.
So bring that crush of yours back down to earth and see them as they are!
4. Find Out If You’re Right
Sometimes we assume that the other person doesn’t love us even though they may. We’re not prepared for rejection, let the matter stew, and suffer in uncertainty.
Instead of brooding in doubt, confess your feelings.
Here’s the deal:
Yes, let them know you first, so they get a chance to see the real you. But if you still can’t tell if they love you, don’t revel in fantasy. Tell them your feelings and find out for real!
It’s better to know the truth and risk getting hurt than not knowing and making yourself feel worse later on (when you realise you wasted your time on someone that didn’t love you back).
I know it’s hard. But it’s for your best. Whatever the response, your self-worth should not be tied to them. You’re enough and great as you are.
5. Think Bigger Than the Relationship
Since your emotions have you gripped, this relationship probably seems really important right now.
You probably feel like that person is the world to you and if they don’t come in your life, life is not worth living anymore, right?
Well, there’s more to life than love, my friend! You know that already. You know that there are so many aspects to life beyond love. There’s your studies, your career, your life goals, your family, adult responsibilities (in the future, if you’re young), and a lot more.
A love relationship can add to your life. But it’s not everything. Maybe you can take the time while single to discover and develop yourself more. There’s so much potential in you and you’re simply weighing yourself down because of this one thing.
Your life is precious. Don’t waste it on someone who doesn’t give a damn about you. Find those who do and treat yourself right!
6. There Will Be Others
I know this person seems irreplaceable, perfect, heavenly, whatever lovey-dovey words you wanna use.
But in a world of 7 billion+ people, I think you have a big chance of getting someone else. There are people of all sorts out there waiting to meet you. And some of them may just be the right fit for you
And this rejection you’re facing (if you’ve already told them) will still help you! It will confirm that this person isn’t the one, so you can move on and try with someone else.
Life is a journey and is not meant to be lived perfectly. It’s through failures that we grow stronger, wiser, and closer to success and happiness.
7. Don’t Be Friends with Them
If you get rejected, you may be tempted to continue the relationship with them as friends, right?
I know it seems like a no-brainer ’cause you love the person and wanna be with them. So you’re thinking, “At least it’s better than nothing.” But trust me, it’s gonna suck eventually (most probably).
You’ve already associated them with love and it’s hard to get over a person that easily.
You’re gonna find it hard to drop the feelings and the friendship may be more painful than worth it.
It’s difficult, I agree. But you gotta make the tough decision and break ties.
Being around them is just gonna remind you of your feelings and you’re gonna feel like crap.
8. Talk to Someone You Trust About It
Sometimes people in your life can act as great support. Maybe you have someone who is ready to help you out and talk to you about your feelings. Go to that person.
If you got rejected, you may feel really hurt and cry out in silence.
You don’t have to deal with it alone.
During those times, besides personal strength, it helps to have someone to comfort you and listen to you.
You’re in a bad state and the love and caring of someone can get you through the emotionally-tough situation.
9. You Don’t Have Control and That’s Okay!
Last but not the least, remember, you can’t control how others feel and that’s okay!
How would you like it if someone you didn’t love said they loved you or had feelings for you in secret?
It would be tough to deal with, right?
Would you just sacrifice your own lack of feelings to make them happy? Will it be a good long-term solution for both of you?
Or will you just hurt them more in the future when you have to break up?
I think that it’d be a bad idea to pity them and say yes. You’re just gonna hurt them more when you leave.
The Bottom Line:
Just like how you wouldn’t wanna force yourself/be forced, you also shouldn’t expect that person to love you regardless of their feelings.
If they do, great. If they don’t, move on.
You’re bigger than this person and there’s lots more fish in the sea. Let go of your ego’s desires and set yourself free.
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Keep believing, find solutions, and get success! Peace.